With that in mind, please understand that this is just my story of quite a challenging date and that I am being sensitive to what he has gone through as a British Solider.
So, I matched with my date and quickly arranged to meet up, he knew Winchester and said he'd be more than happy to travel to me. I met him at the carpark and walked with him to the main high street... his height and ' aggressive strut' immediately put me on a wary defence.
We were walking and talking, trying to break that initial awkwardness of meeting a stranger when a police car started to (very) slowly drive past us. The police car eventually went on ahead and my date immediately piped up "That happens to me all the time, I think my number plate is tracked or is on some sort of system... I always end up getting followed by the police." Of course this set of internal alarm bells! "Don't worry", he continued, "nothing ever happens...I bought my car from somewhere in London so the previous owner must have been involved in something untoward!"
This actually put my mind to rest, it could have been a genuine explanation... until we got to the second part of the town centre and the police slowly passed us again. I put this down to coincidence.
We walked around for quite some time as every bar/pub we passed he turned down because either 20 something's were in there or it looked like it had a 'student vibe'... "I fucking hate students, they're stuck up because they think they're studying towards a better future... they're just lazy, alcoholics, sucking money from our government." At this point, I reminded him that we were in a student city and that I had not long graduated myself and I was nothing like the students he had described!
We continued through the City and he seemed to be walking towards a specific place, it turned out we were going towards his original regiments museum. My date then went on to talk me through each symbol on the wall outside the closed museum, each war his regiment had fought before him and a bit of the politics behind it. I have always hated history because I'm shite at retaining information, however, listening to his passion and knowledge was fascinating! I became genuinely interested and started to enjoy myself...despite being slightly away from a public area and in the dark!
The evening was looking up and his history lesson was winding to a close until he saw a couple walking through the grounds, they looked youngish and were holding a cigarette each. My date then decided to start marching over in a bid to confront them, mumbling "if they even think about doing drugs or fucking, then I'll fucking kill them" .... he was literally seething having just seen two silhouettes moving through the grounds. I became genuinely scared for the safety of two strangers, I began to calmly talk him down. I reasoned with my date that he couldn't do our country any good from behind bars and that he could be quite possibly jumping to conclusions. Suggesting he could be overreacting was the WRONG MOVE, he glared down at me, fists clenched...I quickly changed tactic... "I'm so cold, could you take me for a drink now? We could always come back and check in on them afterwards?"
Thankfully my date started to thaw and walked me to the pub opposite where we were. All I wanted was a (very) large glass of wine but felt I should keep a clear head, so I ordered a lemonade, to which my date was both shocked and impressed by. We took our soft drinks to a nearby table and I vowed to wipe the slate clean and get to know him away from what he was clearly passionate about, yet emotionally triggered by.
Over the course of one drink, my date claimed to hate every kind of religion that wasn't Christian, was exceptionally racist about every race, other than White British (shock). And when I mentioned my best friend was a gay man, he physically recoiled and wondered why I "spent time with faggots". At this point, I should have gotten up and left (actually, I should've left at some time before that) but in all honesty, I was too scared.
My date then started to claim he was hungry, so I made it my own mission to make it back through town, get him food to hopefully calm him down and then get the fuck home! Unfortunately, it was around 10pm at night and we weren't in a Big City that serves food till 3am, so my options for feeding my angry date were limited. We passed a pizza place that said they stopped food at 10:30pm, hopeful, I popped in to ask if their kitchen had closed. A lovely waitress came to greet us, she happened to not be white and all I could hear from my date stood behind me was "oh god, here we go", I cringed and immediately wanted to cry. A second waiter came round the corner to see if we had been looked after, he was black, my date stormed out the building.
As we walked down the high-street a bunch of drunk women were walking up the high-street...my date punched his clenched fist into his open palm and claimed "ahhh fucking students, typically drunk, just start on me! Go on start on me... I'm itching for a fight" - I actually recognised two of the women and they weren't students but that's beside the point.
I suddenly remembered MacDonalds was open and suggested that to my date in order to distract him from wanting a fight; it did the trick. We walked into Maccy D's and my date ordered his food..."joking" that it came to the same price as our drinks and inferred it was my turn to pay (I wasn't eating). As we waited for his food he looked into my eyes, "you know you've got a yellow mark on your eyes, you should have that looked at..." - what more could I expect from a bloke taking me to MacDonalds and not even offering to buy me a fucking nugget.
We sat down with his food and I waited for him to finish... a young lad, obviously, a little high came and sat opposite us to charge his phone. My date saw the bait and started to talk to him "you okay? You feeling a little queer? You're a gay boy, aren't you?"
I won't go into that exchange any further as it wasn't nice and by now I'm sure you've grasped how uncomfortable my evening was. Once he'd wiped the mayo away from the sides of his mouth he asked if he could walk me back to my car, not before asking if I had smoked because my teeth looked stained (I shit you not). I politely declined, reasoning that I didn't want him getting lost getting back to his own car.
All in all that was the most shocking date I've ever experienced. I was genuinely scared and intimidated; I used every ounce in my body to stay brave and strong. To anyone currently dating online (or otherwise), it may seem dull and impersonal chatting to people online for a little longer but if I had been patient and chatted online with this person, then I may have avoided this date. I count myself lucky that I didn't end up in a far worse place than MacDonalds.
Be careful, friends, loving yourself is far easier than looking for love in the wrong places - I'll find a Happy Meal eventually!
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