"What people don't realise is that the McCanns were part of a paedophile ring"
- My Date, April 2019.
Top Tip: Avoid discussions around controversial documentaries such as "The Disappearance of Madeline McCann" and "Finding Neverland." Forget "Netflix and Chill", it got a bit "Netflix and Hot" (debate).
City Boy visits The Shire
My date is a City Boy with all the swag but seemingly no penchant for cocaine and partying until the wee hours. He spoke with confidence but without a trace of cockiness. He had a smile that took over his face (in a good way, not a creepy Cheshire cat way). He spoke of his experiences and travel with modesty. He lit up when we began to discuss cars. He came across in no other way than a hard-working and well brought up young man. (I'm fully aware that I sound like his mother.)
As lovely as all the that sounds, it took a lot for me to ignore my pessimistic voice and go on this date, there were a few red flags along the way. For example, when arranging the logistics, City Boy pondered if he should drive or not.
"But if I drive I can only have two drinks..."
For those that have seen the mildly annoying movie "Mamma Mia" (my guilty pleasure) then you'll know that the *dot, dot, dot* aka the ellipsis MEANS SOMETHING. In the world of Tinder Tales, and the diary of Donna in Mamma Mia, the ... eludes to sex.
I may have jumped to conclusions, however, a couple friends at the gym agreed that I wasn't mad to be slightly on guard. If you've been reading my Tinder Tales for a while, then you'll know I'm quite seasoned at this game of dating charades, so it's fair to say the (...) was the "Fuck Boy" red flag. Then there was the time he texted me at gone 10pm, I responded to say I was still working but from the comfort of my bed, he asked to see a picture. I sent him a photo of my laptop on my 'bed table' (best thing ever) but apparently, that wasn't the spreadsheet he was expecting to see.
Then in the morning, he sent me a topless selfie and a note to say he was looking forward to the date. I didn't return the 'favour' but I'm not going to lie, a picture of a toned tummy and handsome face wasn't the worst thing to wake up to, especially as it wasn't in real life and therefore make me immediately want to hide my 'mum-tum' in shame & worry about morning breath.
I chose to ignore the red flags and go on the date, I was pleasantly surprised by his aforementioned demeanour/character as we ate our Caribbean food and sipped on (just 2) cocktails.
We had been talking non-stop (he didn't ask me anything at all) but the conversation flowed thanks to my questions and the MJ and McCann discussion. City Boy started to fall into a food coma, so we decided to get some fresh air and meader back to our cars. I realised I'd had a delightful time, admittedly this was off the back of a few terrible experiences, but it was enjoyable none the less.
We walked through the closed highstreet, feeling the April chill in the air. We got to our cars and began to arrange our next date through chattering teeth, then City Boy asked if I would be okay to sit in his car to warm up and talk.
Once inside the car, I could tell he was building up to a kiss.
We locked eyes and he began to lean in closer; our heads were tilting *ding ding* this was 100% first kiss territory. Suddenly I realised something didn't feel right; I started to panic and realised I needed to get out of the situation FAST. I began sweating and was quickly backing away, as he tried to mask his own alarm.
To be continued...
(Spoiler alert, the above ellipsis does not elude to sex)
No comments:
Post a Comment