I don't really know how to start this particular blog and I hope I'm not 'jumping the gun' but then again, writing my dating experiences honestly and openly in semi-real time has always been my cathartic approach - so here it goes.
I haven't dated much since the 'reality star' experience, mainly due to new lockdowns and restrictions, as well as, a complete loss of enthusiasm that I'll ever meet someone that's not just interested in clipping my toenails and getting his leg over.
At the beginning of 2021 I met a really lovely chap, he couldn't give a hoot about my toenails and didn't try to get me into bed after our first date. In fact, he bought me chocolates on our first date, flowers on our second date, sent me a cute card in the post "just because" - essentially, he was the first non-knob I had dated in a long, long time.
After our first few dates, I started to realise that we didn't have much in common - I tried to focus on the saying "opposites attract." I had waited so long to meet someone nice that I pushed away red flags, ignored the fact we fell out or bickered more in the first few weeks than we didn't; I simply focused on him being kind and that he liked me. In hindsight, after years of crappy dates, it was completely ego-driven on my part.
My mum, sisters and friends were great listening ears and never told me what to do but my mum did ask, "Could it be that he's Mr. Right Now rather than Mr. Right?"
A few days later we stopped seeing each other - it was like shooting a puppy.
My sister asked me if I was going to go back on the apps and I told her I couldn't bring myself to do it. However, later that night, as I sat alone and reminded myself I was happy alone, I was happy with life and it was okay to want to meet someone - I re-downloaded Bumble for the umpteenth time.
With one eye on Grey's Anatomy, I was flicking between Bumble and Candy Crush, when I came across "King P's" dating profile. His huge smile and gorgeous face stopped me in my tracks, I swiped, we matched and the rest, as they say, is history.... so that's the end of this blog!
Just kidding, I won't leave it there!
King P and I started to exchange a few messages in that time between finishing the evening routine and before dropping off to sleep - it was a slow starter but by the Friday we decided to have a video date. Three and a half hours on the phone flew by and we quickly arranged our first date, with our second date the following day - we've pretty much been inseparable since.
As you can tell, I'm not used to sharing details on happy, positive, fantastic dates - all I can think to say is that this experience (so far) has been unlike any dates and experiences I've had in the past six years of online dating.
As mentioned in my blog "things not to say to your single friend" - the cliche "it'll happen when you least expect it" is annoyingly spot on (in my case anyway).
Right now, I'm right where I want to be and all the stories I've shared with you from the past 6 years and the ones I haven't shared, all seem worth it now.
I started this blog as a cathartic 'post date' diary. A place I could take the mick out of myself and share with even just one reader the trials and tribulations of online dating. If I made just one person laugh or feel less alone in the digital dating world, it makes the crappy experiences all worth it.
At its very basic origins, I named this blog "Before I Found Love" with blind faith that one day I would find it. However, over the years I've come to realise that I never saw or fully appreciated how much love I have always been surrounded with.
*WARNING - another cliche incoming*
I've received messages and comments from so many friends and digital friends saying how happy they are for me to have met King P - I have felt very overwhelmed with how many people have said "you deserve to be treated well".
For so long I prioritised finding love over doing things I love. I would beat myself up about my appearance and never thought someone could love me until I "got thin". But over the last couple of years, I have focused on my career, my passions, my children, my friends and my family; particularly the relationship with my sisters. This whole time, I've been surrounded with love and people that care about me - I've felt alone but I've never truly been alone. This isn't to say that wanting to find 'my person' was wrong but I truly found happiness when I realised I felt ready to meet HIM because I was already living a life in which I was loved and valued.
In summary: "Loving yourself and where you are in life puts you in the best position to love someone else" - Cliche delivered.
Maybe this blog will evolve to be something else? Or maybe it will sit here waiting to be found by someone a little lost with dating and they'll be reassured that they're not the only one struggling.
If that's you reading this then please know you're not the only one meeting weirdos and experiencing crazy dates. You are already so loved by those around you (there's more than you think). These are simply the days Before you Find Love.*
*If it doesn't work out with King P then I'll be seeing you on the circuit - mine's a Vodka. x
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