It's been eight months since I've posted here. I had just been "humped and dumped" but wrote about finding love 'in a higher place' - a love found within friendships and shared moments.
I'm now writing during a global pandemic, the feeling of love and gratitude for my friends has only strengthened. However, being single AND not being able to see my loved ones is teaching me a lot about staying connected. Thankfully, I'm already well practised in being alone or the only adult in the house.
So, with plenty of time to reflect, I've decided to write about my tinder tales from the last eight months.
After the epic Summer of 2019, I eventually downloaded the dating apps for the umpteenth time. By October, I had my first date! He was a breath of fresh air - a 'Kind Kev'. No unsolicited dick-pics, no nasty comments about his ex, no suggestive comments, no bigoted remarks. However, after three pleasant dates, it just wasn't a 'right fit' with "Kind Kev", and we resolved to be just friends. Considerable growth for me, as I usually force things to work with the normal ones.
I decided to continue to date quietly, slowly and thoughtfully - whatever that means.
In December, I matched with a VERY handsome web-designer; I'll call him "Peter Parker" - get it?! We messaged back and forth for a while and eventually met for a cup of tea in a cosy pub. Yes, I drank tea on a first date.
After we said goodbye, I doubled back to the pub for a debrief with my friends and at long last a glass of red wine. I noticed that my date had left behind his bag of shopping - a chocolate protein shake in a glass bottle and some indigestion tablets. Naturally, these are critical items needed before a date.
I texted him and suggested I gave it back on a second date. Smooooooth, I know.
A week later, I was walking to the second date when I tripped over a step, dropped the bag and smashed the glass bottle. Great!
After profusely apologising to him for not only being late but smashing his shake, we sat down at our cosy table for two in Turtle Bay. Conversation flowed, we flirted, and I caught him 'accidentally' letting his eyes wander to the v-neck of my top. Things were going well, and I was very attracted to him.
On the day of our third date, I awoke to a missed call from a withheld number and a message from "Peter Parker" saying something had come up with his ex. I noticed his Whatsapp picture wasn't visible anymore; he'd blocked me - I had no chance to reply or ask any questions. Pre-date excitement instantly crushed. Chapter closed.
On New Year's day, I matched with "Military Mike" - almost immediately, he informed me of his wish for children. I appreciated how upfront he was and deduced that his want for a family meant he wouldn't just 'hump and dump' me.
Dating "Military Mike" was challenging. He often told me my opinions and thoughts on pretty much any subject were wrong. He was adamant that the gender pay gap doesn't exist. He told me that if we got serious, the children and I would have to fall in line with his career. He told me he didn't want dinner when he came over to watch a movie and then moaned that I hadn't cooked for him.
He did a lot, and I allowed it to happen because I wanted someone to want me. I know, I know, I'm a strong, confident woman but I can also feel lonely and insecure at times.
Anyway, soon enough, I took a deep breath, listened to my friend's advice, reminded myself of my worth and called it a day with "Military Mike"- he never responded.
SO, that brings us neatly to the present day... lockdown. Dating is a no go but of course, now would be the time I match with "Lush Lorry"!
So far it's been daily texts and facetime dates, but actually, it's been pretty perfect. I've done the 'texting' thing before, and it's always fizzled out, but virtual dating during this time somehow feels more connected.
Maybe all I needed was some distance to find a connection. Watch this space.
P.S. Please don't be foolish and attempt to date/meet people outside your home. The sooner everyone adheres to the lockdown rules, the quicker we can get out! Plus, then I can go on a real date with "Lush Lorry".
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