He's already put a ring on it....

So in a bid to stop fantasising about my American hunk (see previous post) and try and regain some sort of realistic approach to my future love life (whilst still hoping he'll fly to England whisk me off my feet and live happily ever after) - I re-downloaded tinder and arranged a date with (a seemingly) lovely gentleman.

By now you all know how my Tinder Tales tend to go but let's start from the very beginning....

My date met me at the bar, mojito in hand with a signet ring placed on his pinky, his exceptionally posh accent purred "Helloooooo, delightful to meet you" as he lent in for a kiss (on both cheeks, of course) and promptly spilt his cocktail on to my foot.

Posh P. had an air and grace about him, as if I had just entered his bar and the people surrounding us were merely background noise, he was almost camp; a sort of Hugh Grant character but minus the floppy hair...or much hair at all really (NOT that it matters, I am not a bald'isct).

We got talking straight away, never once finishing a conversation but flitting from one subject to another but after a while it became quite hard work - not because I felt I had to fill in any gaps or scramble for things to say - because I have a tendency to mimic the accents of the people I'm talking to. So, as I started to talk to Posh P. my accent merged in to a cross between Liz Hurley and someone out of Made in Chelsea and my mouth actually started to ache. I'm quite well spoken any way (thanks to my Father's threats that the Queen could visit at any moment and we mustn't sound like"yobs" - that's middle class parenting for you!) but my voice went SUPER posh and it's actually really hard to keep up! Every now and again I'd drop the accent, any one remember Ross from 'Friends' trying to phase out his fake British accent? Well, that's how I sounded when I slipped up.

Despite chatting non stop for over 2 hours I didn't learn a huge amount about him, we did have chemistry and laughed a lot - maybe it was the champagne that helped? Posh P. was light on details, for example, he had been in the Army but when I asked what he had done within the Army his response was; "well I went to Iraq and got a tan darling....." he was obviously making light of quite a heavy topic and didn't want to discuss it, so I let it drop. When I asked about his previous relationship he only mentioned that it ended 1.5 years ago and had lasted for 6 years... but again it's not exactly first date etiquette to discusses ex's, so I left it.

After the bottle of fizz had been finished and we'd moved on to champagne cocktails... Posh P. went full on Hugh Grant: "I find it rather unusual that we have connected with such a chemistry from a Tinder date - I've really enjoyed this evening, and I don't do PDA's, but for the past hour I've really wanted to kiss you".

I couldn't believe how straight to the point he had been, he was charming and I was extremely flattered, we went outside and walked through the court yard, under the twinkle lights, and shared a kiss.

The next day I couldn't help but do a bit of internet investigation, detective work...okay fine, full on stalking. Don't ask me how... but I found out his full name and Googled him. I eventually came across his family's country estate, which is hired out for weddings, and I started to let my imagination run away with me.... Until I discovered something I wish I hadn't, he'd already put a ring on it; he was married.

I spent the day after the date so angry that I had allowed some posh, Hugh Grant type character charm me in to a snog and flirtation. I'm not the one who has lied or cheated but I felt guilty by association - I went on a rant to my colleague who quickly pointed out that he could be divorced....Ah. I couldn't just text him and ask if he was married/divorced.... it would give away my psychotic internet lurking, I've resolved to waiting for the opportunity to slide in the question.

So what have I learnt from this date? I should stick to my own accent, my internet investigations may be slightly out of control, he could be divorced, DON'T kiss on the first date, and lastly, maybe it's best to keep fantasising about my American Hunk moving to England.