Disastrous Date #1 - Meeting Awkward Al

So it had to happened, I went on a date.  I knew the situation would eventually present itself... I couldn't get all my Tinder blog material hidden from behind my phone. So here it is, in all its awkwardness.

To be fair as first dates go, of which I mean meeting a stranger from the internet, it wasn't too bad. The guy looked like his photos, own hair & teeth etc, and was perfectly 'normal'.

The tone of the date was set before it had even started when I arrived at the well lit, public meeting point only to find my parents stood outside chatting with a friend.

"Hi mum, hi Dad, nice to see you.... would you kindly mind leaving, like, NOW!"

Of course I had to explain why I needed them to leave and my mother managed to drag my protective father off just in the nick of time. After my parents timely exit my date arrived, as did my first dating mistake. Having done our introductory's I decided to humorously recall the encounter with my parents, and highlight how awkward it would have been for them to meet. My date, instead of laughing along with me or retorting with a witty response, instantly fell silent and blushed a shade of pink that one could only obtain from their make up pallet.

It took some recovery but we soon got over the "meet the parents" mishap.

We eventually made it to a local pub and settled down to get to know each other over a drink. The conversation was light hearted. We jokingly reassured one another that he wasn't a murderer and I wasn't a physco on day release. As we laughed and joked neither one of us could understand why the other was single (I assume) and then the conversation took on a serious tone when we probed each other on why we were single. I gave him my turn of events: dumped, heartbroken, trying to move on blah blah blah and then he told me his story. (Boy's please take note and NEVER do this on a date)

Awkward Al (that's what we'll call him) recalled his 12 year loving relationship, in which produced three strapping young boys. Awkward Al went on to retell how he met his ex, and how they'd grown as a couple over the years....I started to feel like I'd walked in on a love story. Al then told me how he hadn't meant to have a fling and had gotten carried away when he'd received some unwelcome attention from the office vixen. Poor awkward Al did seem incredibly remorseful.

After Al's intense confession I excused myself for a toilet break and to recompose myself,  he was surprised when I arrived back at our table, assuming that I would've made a break for it. I then wondered if I would've done if it wasn't for the fact i'd left my phone on the table.

Having reassured one another that neither of us know what we want or even if we were ready to move on from our previous relationships, we decided to take a walk to lighten the mood again. The light hearted banter resumed and we both started to relax....until we rounded the corner and entered the cathedral grounds. Before I could realise what we had walked in to, I heard the joyful chime of the cathedral bells only to look up and see we had walked in to a wedding party. I'm pretty sure the happy couple will find their wedding photos feature two horrified strangers on a awkward date.

As we swiftly maneuvered away from all the commitment awkward Al began to explain why he didn't agree with marriage, no shit sherlock, 12 year relationship and three kids, it kind've figured!

We eventually found a street performer to watch - the poor chap was terrible but somehow we were able to bond over our disappointment in his performance. Things were once again lighthearted and looking up, until I actually looked up... and saw my children, who were spending the day with their father, hurtling up the high street.

RUN, RUN, RUN - is all i could say.... and I'm sure all he was thinking.

The next day I received a text from Awkward Al explaining that, although he thought I was "great", he wasn't quite ready to move pass his ex.

What did I learn from this? - Don't date close to home. Don't mention any near mishaps with family members. Don't become part of a wedding party. Don't discuss previous infidelity. And DON'T leave your phone behind on the table.